It feels so good to be back! Please forgive the week long hiatus-internet issues....if you want further explanation, please see this blog's Facebook page: The Heart of Ruth.
At any rate, I was thinking today about modesty and being lady like. I'm not completely sure what ignited this chain of thoughts today...maybe it's when my daughter asked me to show her how to climb a tree and I proceeded to do it in my skirt,lol. I could only get so far because I realized if I were to go any higher there would be a clear view of my underwear! She was disappointed but accepted it and dropped it. But then I just kept thinking all these conflicting thoughts- some related to one another, others seemed totally east from west of each other.
Who cares if you can see my underwear?It's just my family- they know I wear underwear!
Girls just shouldn't be up in trees!Why not?We can do anything boys can do!
But were we really meant to do whatever boys can?Is it really all that bad if we can't or shouldn't compete with boys?Is it wrong to prove we are just as good as they are or is it enough to know we are and just keep that as our own little secret?
See what I mean? I hope it doesn't make me crazy that I entertain debates in my head,lol Then I began reading this book that had a line in it that turned the light bulb on for me. As Christian women, we are princesses. Every one of us knows that God is King of kings and we may even go so far as to have the cute t-shirts or Bible covers that say I'm a Princess or My Daddy is a King, but how many of us actually really truly believe that? But you have to if you truly believe that God is Lord of all.And when you have lords what do you have to match them?
We are ladies and princesses. Now think about Princesses- not the Disney ones but real life royalty.
Princess Diana of Wales
Catherine Middleton Duchess of Cambridge
Princess Amira of Saudi Arabia
Princess Grace of Monaco
Now I am sure that at some point you could probably find some unflattering or immodest pictures of these women online, but just for the moment look at their pictures above. They are covered up, they have a certain something about them that makes them both extremely important but wonderfully approachable. They command respect. They have the kind of beauty that makes women wish they were them, and men wish they could be with them----but they are in no way provocative, trampy or trying to get cat called to get their self worth.
The thing you can see on them but can't quite figure out what it is: confidence. Can we agree that depending on what you are wearing, you will carry yourself differently- maybe even act a certain way? We are part of a HUGE Royal Family! That makes us somebodies! We don't need validation from anybody based on the flaunting of our bodies. If this post hits home with you I want you to know I'm not sitting here holier than thou wagging my finger at you- this is for me too.
My whole life I've been the fat fluffy haired one. The smart one. The funny one. But never the pretty one. My worth has always come from what other people- especially the boys thought of me. Unfortunately as far as I knew they didn't think much of me other than I was a good friend. I just wish that had been enough for me and not some kind of insult. I thank God for my Christian foundation because without it I just might have pushed the limits to get the attention and confidence and validation I so very much wanted.
After I got diagnosed with diabetes last year, I worked really hard to lose weight for my health. I succeeded in losing 50lbs without the help of any expensive program or pill or anything like that. But even though I did it for my health I got a very unexpected side effect- I became attractive,lol! I know I am married and I love my man with all honesty- but it didn't hurt the ego getting smiles, winks and waves from complete strangers. Never keeping a secret from my husband, I would always tell him if something new happened while I was out that day.He always assured me it was awesome news and he was happy for me....as long as I stayed true to him. Not a problem, so I reveled in my new little taste of attention. Over the span of a few months my heart changed and I thought I was becoming confident but looking back I was so not. I was arrogant. I didn't dress trampy, but I did dress tighter because it looked more acceptable than it would have 50lbs heavier. My heart is back to normal thank God, although I do still struggle with missing the attention.
This is me now: I have basically ditched wearing shorts or pants unless I'm at the gym because the skirts remind me I am first and foremost a lady and to act as such. Unless it's an unbearably hot day out, my hair is worn long and down because the feeling of the hair draped around my shoulders and down my arms makes me feel ultra feminine. I will find one thing everyday( even if I have to repeat that thing days in a row) that I can honestly say I like about myself; one day it may be the new shape of my arms, the next it may be my eyes. In the coming months I have the pleasure of having 3 rogue baby teeth and all 4 wisdom teeth yanked, and a couple years of braces to help pull down my impacted adult teeth to look forward to.
I am scared of the oral surgery and being knocked out part. I'm not fond of the fact that I wanted braces my whole teenage life and now that I don't want them,they are mandatory. But maybe that's just what I need to help keep my heart in check...a little humiliation, er uh, I mean humility. LOL. Seriously though, God knows the importance of beauty to a woman- He created us after all!
1 Peter 3:3-4
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
Almost all Christian women know that verse, but for me though it is haunting and definitely a standard to live up to, it's been overused,misinterpreted and too easily debated. I like a verse that can't be any of those, so this one does it for me:
"Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised."
Can't get any clearer than that! Physical beauty will not last. Charm is deceptive. I have always said I hated flattery and compliments because all they are are heaps of lies men tell you to get something from you. Yet here I was, knowing the attention I was getting were all lies. I was the same person (more or less) as I was a year ago, but the fact that I was now getting attention because my weight and clothing had changed tells me that the way these insignificant people felt about me were lies. Rhianna was right- I loved the way they lied. It felt good.
I have a good man and a greater God that loved me endlessly 12 years ago at 200lbs, 5 years ago at 216lbs and today at 185lbs. That's truth. That's love- wanting nothing more than my love and respect in return. A woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. If you fear the Lord you respect Him, if you respect Him you love Him and if you love Him you will cover yourself up, stop cheapening His bride and lovely creation and have some dignity for yourself.Why can't we see ourselves the way He sees us? We want to feel like Princesses, with our fearless knight on his mighty white steed running in to risk His life for us because we are that valuable to Him.....I'll do you one better.
The King gave His life for you (Romans 5:8) because you were that valuable (Matthew 10:31) to Him. White steed and all.(Revelation 19:11-16)