Thursday, January 12, 2012

Lesson 1

     How many women have sat and watched The Oprah Winfrey show and have seen this woman give away extravagant gifts to audience members as well as those who have done and achieved things that any one of us could do (or have done for that matter); things like losing weight, doing something selfless for another human being or just being an exceptional wife and mother. How many of us have stared in envious disbelief at the TV thinking, Why couldn't that be me??
     I was given that rare gift for Christmas. I am not wealthy by any means and I am no celebrity. I barely understand how my husband pulled this off, but he told me for Christmas, I was going to get what every mother across this planet needs and deserves: quiet me time. I got to pick where I wanted to go and I got 4 days there. In those 4 days I learned some seriously valuable lessons- of which I will be writing about: one day at a time.

     Today's lesson: My Heart belongs to my Family more than I Thought
     I think to some degree, most moms on their most overwhelmed days have taken a weary look around their disheveled homes and as they take in the amount of work they've done ( and how little that work seems to be reflected in the piles of laundry, dishes and toys strewn about) have thought What I would give to just get away for awhile.
I too have thought that but let me assure you, the second I was standing in that airport ready to pass through security alone I realized just that- I was doing this alone.
I've always loved doing the family vacations- packing for 6, double checking the lists' lists(lol) and color coding the print out of the mapped out route we would take. It's hard and tiring and strenuous work to make sure you are fully prepared for the "what-ifs" and that no "foofie" is left behind, but in the end you are left with a family of beaming faces and excited little ones.

     This time I was alone. I was going on to a never-before-visited destination and I was completely alone in the journey. I kissed 4 little tear stained faces goodbye as well as 1 fuzzy goateed face that was hiding welled up tears behind a weak but accomplished smile and walked through the security machine. As I was motioned on, I turned around one last time and saw half my kids walking away absolutely fine, half of them wrapped up in their father's arms crying and the brief vision of what my husband's life would look like if I were to pass away suddenly. Let me tell you, no one can guilt a momma like that momma herself. 

     What was supposed to be a 15 minute wait leading to an hour and a half flight to my next connecting flight turned into a nearly 10 hour time of reflection, waiting and prayer filled with delays, headaches, rain and cancellations. And in that 10 hours I learned my first of many lessons: My heart goes wherever my family goes. My children may be loud and not always obedient, and my husband may be messy at times and I may be recovering from a broken and betrayed heart....but I would rather spend the rest of my life complaining about them, then to have everything just so and be alone.My children are, as I've said many times before,my heart...the very air I breathe. My husband- he is my best friend- one who I feel I'm just meeting for the first time, as of late.

     Too many times we get frustrated and overwhelmed ( and rightly so) and without fully realizing the strength behind what we are saying, just wish to God He would give us a moment of peace.

Be careful what you wish for.