Wednesday, September 21, 2011

The Time Keeper

     You ever have one of those days where it's just gray and blah...and it feels like the the monotony of your hamster wheel life is going to slowly drive you insane? That's how my day started out. I get up the same time, I do the same things throughout the day, I worry/complain/pray about the same things day in and day out. Then at some point in today, I think God had had enough with my attitude and suddenly I felt like everything we've been hoping/wishing/waiting for all was coming at me at once. It was very overwhelming. Alot of what we are going to be dealing with and going through won't even happen for another year or 2 - and that's only barring Christ doesn't come back before then!But at some point in the day, I got enough of a breather to realize something: 
     I AM NOT GOD.
     Shocking, I know. I did not speak this world into existence piece by piece, I have not lovingly formed any body parts on tiny beings within another's womb, I have not cast down stars and I do not hold time in my hands. Why do we I worry? The Lord is the Alpha and the Omega- He was here before the beginning of our understanding of Time and He will be here when Time ceases to exist. At this very moment He can see not just our future, but us in our futures. Think about it. When you were 8 years old in school or at home doing whatever it was you were doing....God saw you at this very moment reading this sentence at the same exact time that He saw you as a child back then. Knowing this, why then do we worry and stress? Can we change God's mind and in essence, Time, by worrying ourselves sick about things we cannot control?Jay Livingston and Ray Evans might have had something when they wrote the popular song, Que sera sera.
     In no way am I suggesting we should just sit back and wait for Life to happen- that's called existing, not living. But we also shouldn't waste the Life we've been given stressing out. In that overwhelming moment where I realized that 4 major life events will be occurring at some point in the next 2 or so years I also realized I had just wasted several hours that I won't be able to get back. My present became my past in the blink of an eye, I had done nothing productive with it and I allowed it to happen. I should be thankful and excited at what is to come; I should be at peace at the realization that nothing is guaranteed and quite frankly, I may be stressing over events that may not even ever happen.
      I am making the suggestion that we be like children- to take things as they come,good or bad, ultimately knowing that it is up to our Father to handle it all. Our children live blissfully unaware (hopefully) of the bad things we deal with but heartily take part in  the good things we provide for them. They ask unafraid for what they want and need and hopefully remember to say "thank you" when it is received. They don't worry about what bills didn't get paid, where the next meal meal comes from or if they will have clothes to fit them next Fall. They just live. Maybe we should give this a try..for a day or 2 at first, maybe then a week...eventually it will just


  1. Thank you so much. Your words are exactly what I needed to hear today. I have been struggling with an extremely difficult decision that may affect my very existence. I needed to be reminded that GOD is always in charge. GOD created me and only GOD knows when it's time for me to come home to Him. Bless you today and always.

  2. I am humbled and so grateful that what I've written has touched you so. I pray you continue to live a long life and rest in knowing that if nowhere else, you are loved by a complete stranger (that would be me) and God Himself. Please, do not hesitate to email me if would like prayer, or just to talk to somebody who cares. <3. Be blessed.

  3. Maria, it never ceases to amaze me how our Loving God uses you. I knew when you were a little girl you had SPECIAL gifts and writing was one of them. I have been feeling the exact same way that u wrote about. I love you so much and am very proud of the woman you have grown into being. I could not have had a sweeter or more loving faithful daughter. Forgive me if i ever expected you to be perfect in any way, the truth is i was scared to death for the both of us in a world filled with hate for bi-racial children. and the women who bore them. The truth is you are my beautiful angel God gave me and a blessing to all. I love you, your mom.

  4. The funny thing is, I AM amazed at how God uses me-im nobody special. I just love God beyond measure and I love people just a little less than that. All I want is for people to feel that love- then my life will have meaning. I love u too mommy; always will.

  5. WOW, speachless, and so true. I love this, and all of these posts. Sounds so much like my life story, it really does, minus the parts about being preg.