Saturday, June 11, 2011

Clothes make the man, uh, I mean Woman


I don't know why, but I had a lot of difficulty in writing this post. Maybe because I don't want to offend anyone. Maybe because I feel like a hypocrite. Maybe just because it's quarter after 3 in the morning and I've had 4 hrs of sleep in the past 2 days.... but I am curious as to what your thoughts are when you picture a woman in jeans vs a woman in a skirt?

     At the risk of sounding like I've totally ripped off my dear friend Crystal's blog (I haven't, if nothing else she inspired me GREATLY in this) I decided to challenge myself the way she did and wear a skirt or dress for 1 week. I could shorten this post quite easily by saying just read her entry, because I had the exact same experience, but then I may lose readers,lol. If you know me, you definitely know 2 things: 1-I'm a jeans girl. Faded,ripped,boot cut, baggy, patched...I love em all. And 2- I am fiercely defiant towards anyone who says women HAVE to wear skirts for any reason.

     That being said, I went into this experiment feeling strangely awkward. Going to a private Christian school my whole life and being the daughter of a very feminine mother I am no stranger to skirts. In fact I've grown up loving them. Somewhere around my teen years I began to pride myself on being just as rough,tough and strong as any male counterpart. I loved the feeling of running hard after a soccer ball or getting banged up playing aggressive basketball or street hockey. Falling out of trees and climbing tall dirt piles was just fun.I wore my bruises proudly like badges. With this tomboy-esqe behavior came my love of jeans, because let's be honest, somethings you just can't do in a dress! But as I got older and entered my 20's I began to wonder if people could see me as girly- a word that was right up there with the darkest of 4 letter words to me. "Girly" conjured up images of airheadedness, vanity, inane giggling and WEAKNESS. Ever see Pink's video for "Stupid Girls"? Yeah...that's what we're talking about here. But something still yearned for the old fashioned Southern ways of how a lady is supposed to be treated.

     So I tried this experiment. I hadn't worn a skirt in over a year- and I haven't worn a dress since my wedding. But I figured with all the weight I've been losing my much needed shopping excursion could included a few off to Maurice's I went on my birthday. To make a very long story short, I got 2 skirts that were very feminine yet didn't lose my style- one was long and heavy and black. The other was white, with a short,jagged, flowy black bandanna design. The look on my husband's face when he saw me was priceless- it was like he was seeing me for the first time again...and this is a man who will fight fiercely beside me for my right to wear jeans! Friday I went to Fashion Bug and bought my first little black dress and another skirt, along with some accessories and flip flops. I have to tell you, the feminine treatment
     I've longed for has been found and at the same time I feel like my strength and ability to care for myself as needed is like a secret weapon. I get smiles and glances in stores and on the street, doors opened for me, extra help by gentlemen whether or not I need it and my husband has given me greatest compliment tonight. As he was going back to work from his break he said," You know, I've always loved you.And I love how I'm not afraid that you couldn't defend yourself or our family if needed. But I gotta tell ya,( and wrapping his arms completely around my waist) between the way you're shrinking and the flowy girly makes me feel this overwhelming need to protect you ."  I smiled so big my cheeks hurt,lol. In my pursuit to just be a bit more feminine, I had made him feel more masculine, more needed. Wow. 

Take a look at his "impossible " model of a woman:

10 [b]Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
      She is more precious than rubies.
   11 Her husband can trust her,
      and she will greatly enrich his life.
   12 She brings him good, not harm,
      all the days of her life.
   13 She finds wool and flax
      and busily spins it.
   14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
      bringing her food from afar.
   15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
      and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
   16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
      with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
   17 She is energetic and strong,
      a hard worker.
   18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
      her lamp burns late into the night.
   19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
      her fingers twisting fiber.
   20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
      and opens her arms to the needy.
   21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
      for everyone has warm[c] clothes.
   22 She makes her own bedspreads.
      She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
   23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
      where he sits with the other civic leaders.
   24 She makes belted linen garments
   25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
      and she laughs without fear of the future.
   26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
      and she gives instructions with kindness.
   27 She carefully watches everything in her household
      and suffers nothing from laziness.
   28 Her children stand and bless her.
      Her husband praises her:
   29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
      but you surpass them all!”
   30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
      but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
   31 Reward her for all she has done.
      Let her deeds publicly declare her praise.

      There is nothing weak about a woman in a dress, and there is nothing ungirly about a woman in jeans. Did ya notice this woman's strength was twice mentioned? Strength isn't just what she has but who she is. And I believe more now than ever that you are more what you wear than what you eat,lol.
     I feel more like a lady. I feel more dignified. And as far as my children are concerned, they think I look like a "Pin-cess". My son can't seem to stop running his dirty little hands around my knees and fanning out my skirts. My baby daughter loves hiding under them and kissing my knees,lol. Last night during bedtime prayers my 2 older girls thanked God for helping me lose weight and start looking like "all the other pretty thin mommies". 
     This whole post is neither a rant against pants nor a call to the fellow chubbies of the world to lose weight to find worth. No. This is a post to empower women, to shine a light on the worth you already possess and to help you find areas you may want to work on. 
     YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND WORTH SO MUCH. jeans or jean skirt. I am just as much these 3 now as I was 5 yrs ago, but now....I just feel it too.

1 comment:

  1. I do love this post! You know i believe differently about dresses and skirts. But it still remains we look on the bathroom door to see which one we go in.....for now, till they ruin that too. dresses or pants, i go in the dresses door. i love you.