Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Act your age, not your shoe size


30 is sometimes a taboo or dirty word for women. Its like once the clock strikes midnight on your 30th birthday, the world was over. I was had a wonderful co-worker that swore she would never turn 30, and to see to it every year on her birthday she would "turn 29". If I remember correctly this will be her 9th 29th birthday this year,lol.

     When midnight struck for me, oddly enough I did feel a bit different. It is hard to describe. I could almost literally feel that,ok, I am not a kid anymore. Every kid is chomping at the bit to be an adult at 1., myself included. By the time 21 rolls around you get almost an arrogance like, ok...now you have to take me seriously. Now that I'm here, I can see that this just isn't so. Let's be completely honest with ourselves. Your 20's are just an extension of your teens. You still feel stress and like you have more responsibilities than you can handle, but you are still allowed to make foolish mistakes- you are almost expected to- because you are still learning  how to be a grown-up. God bless the 4 little lives that I brought on this wild ride with me. We are learning together.

The second I turned 30 I made a promise to God and myself I would do better in this new decade. When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 1 Corinthians 13:11 NLT
     Paul was saying this to make a point that when you are a new Christian, certain ways of thinking and foolish mistakes are understood by the Father. He expects you to learn from them, repent and do a 180...this is growth and maturity.When you are a mature Christian you ought not be making the same childish errors. I took this to heart on my birthday. 
     I have always been a HUGE complainer, in my defense...it's usually about valid things that would irk anyone. But the Bible clearly says to do all things without murmurings and disputings. Philippians 2:14 KJV  
      So that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.Philippians 2:15 NIV  Complaining is childish. Ask anyone with small children, or teens...there isn't much difference. They both can be messy and  over dependant on you, craving independence from you- complaining all the while you try to teach them how to be functional adults. OY!
     What do I have to complain about?(DOWN 20'S!THAT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION!!!!) I have 4 beautiful children, we own our own home, I have a husband who loves me to pieces and wants to spend time not just with me, but our children!We are( usually) healthy and live in a( relatively) safe neighborhood and I don't have to send my children away to become educated, but rather i get to know exactly what is being put into their little minds and spirits because I'm the one putting it there, aligned with God's Word! That a lot to be grateful for! I'm not saying I run around now singing like Fraulein Maria or play the Glad Game like Pollyanna, but I am consciously trying to be the adult that I now God expects me to be. And why not sing? 
     Isaiah 61:3 says there is a garment called praise that was created for the Spirit of Heaviness. You ever try to sing when life just sucks?You just feel STUPID.Know why? Cause the mind is the battlefield. If the Enemy can keep you down by making you feel too stupid to sing songs of joy and praise, then you won't be a threat to him. There was a reason Israelite armies had priests and instrumentalists in battle with them! I challenge you to fight thru your stupidity next time and just sing praises, even if all you know is Jesus loves me. Really think about it---JESUS LOVES YOU!No matter how awful things get. Think about your best friend and your parents- they still love you when your life is sucky, right? How much more then do you think He that created you feels about you?!
     I believe every word that I write here, but I am human as well.Not 24 hrs. after making my vow I was called on it. Would I really praise Him thru every storm? I want to, but I didn't...and I wish I had. Our new van (just bought a month ago) had the engine light come on, my birthday i didn't get to do the stuff I wanted or have the stuff I wanted, I paid for stamps at a store 35 minutes away and had to go back the next day because they forgot to put them in my shopping bag, and worst of all....3 of my children all became sick.The youngest was very sick. I did put on the praise music, but I never let it penetrate my heart and that left me feeling down for 3 days. 
     I thank God his mercies are new every morning...He knows I need that fresh start, that do over called "tomorrow" Things are getting better, my attitude is better and I've asked 
Him for his forgiveness. My kids feel the lightness  in me and we have all just been very chill today. I will have success some days and I will fail some days, but in the end I'm trying and it's enough that Jesus loves me, this I know. For the Bible tells me so. :)

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