Life Lessons from a 2 Year Old

     Everyone thinks their baby is special, I'm no different. What I wonder is, how many of these babies will grow to know that they were important life lessons for their parents? My youngest was not 1 lesson learned, but 3 for me.


LESSON 1: PREGNANT WOMEN ARE CONSUMERS,NOT PATIENTS.


     I, like most people, had been inadvertently taught that Doctors are god-like. What they say goes.You don't ask questions and you don't stray from doctor's orders.When I had my first baby, I wanted it to be as natural and med free as possible-which is why I tried very hard to avoid physicians and stick to seeing the midwife as much as possible. When it came time to have her, my midwife was unavailable and the doctor told me I was measuring too big and had to be induced.(I should probably note here it was 4th of July weekend in NJ...so yeah...)Very long story short, after 1 12 hr induction, being sent home, another 7 hr induction and the doctor breaking my water without telling me- it was decided for me that I was to have a c-section. I will spare you the gory details of my panicked crying, the insulting / threatening anesthesiologist and the secret drug they gave me that warped and partially erased my memory.      
     Suffice it to say I was scarred for years, mistrusting of doctors and heck bent on having a VBAC. After 2 more physician pressured sections, one that I believe nearly cost my son his life(it was too early to have him), I was blessed to meet Angie Nixon, a beautiful midwife from Scott Depot, WV. Even though my 3 section track record made her nervous, this angel took me on for a time with my 4th pregnancy and taught me that God has the final say/women definitely can say "no" (or at least "wait") and that  pregnancy is not an illness to be cured from. By the time she referred me to the wonderful doctor who performed my 4th section, I was determined that no man was gonna tell me when he was going to cut me. Illness makes you a patient;pregnancy makes you a customer.I let him know nicely but very firmly this belief and he obliged. I waited 42 full weeks (to be sure she was absolutely full term) to give birth- and I'm so glad I did.

LESSON 2: IT'S NOT ABOUT ME

     Before Caia, I felt something was wrong with me that I couldn't deliver naturally. I hated the surgery and even more the people that just had to remind me it's not how the baby gets here but that they got here at all that was important. True, but not true. If how they got here matters to the mother...then it absolutely matters! But each time I found myself blessed with a pregnancy, I saw it as a new opportunity to "get it right" this time. When we had my son we had just moved to WV( seriously- I was only here maybe a week) and the doctor I met assured me that once again for the size I was measuring,despite my being approximately 38wks, it was more than safe to deliver. Against the strongest internal NO! I've ever felt, I went once again with the doc. My son was born but within minutes it was determined he wasn't breathing right and his pulse was too fast. Yet another long story short, I was kept in the dark and denied nursing him for 7hrs- just about the time they decided to let me in on what was going on.He was taken 50 miles away to a bigger hospital that was equipped with a fully staffed state of the art NICU. It was 10pm and I wasn't allowed to go with him. I spent that first night feeling like my son was already dead. I demanded to be discharged the next day and from that day until his discharge on his 8th day of life, my husband and I (still recovering from my surgery) drove 100 miles a day to sit and stare at him in his oxyhood and back home to the 2 little girls who never yet got to meet their brother. He is a fully functioning tornado of a miracle today at 4 yrs old, but his entry into this world made me realize that with my next baby, all my focus was going to be on her. It's not about proving I'm normal, or getting to experience something I was never meant to experience in pushing out the baby- and it was definitely not about trusting anymore doctors---but making every single decision based on her health and safety. Baby #4 ended up yet another section, but after much prayer and waiting on God's gentle nudge that now was the time. She was born a fully termed, happy, suckling 8lbs 10oz!   Not a thing wrong with her other than a bad case of baby acne, I am so grateful I traded the "me" for the "her"; she showed me just how amazing putting yourself last can be and the amount of blessings possible when you do.

 

LESSON 3: ENJOY EVERY MINUTE

     With baby 1 my whole pregnancy was about how unready we were for her and the constant on/off arguing we were doing. With baby 2 it was about how was she gonna get here? Baby 3 I can barely remember the pregnancy because we were completely consumed with our preparations for our 500+ mile move. Not fun packing a whole house by yourself when you are hugely pregnant and home alone all day with 2 little girls under 3 yrs old!

     With Caia I was determined to enjoy every single minute of every single day of my 42 week pregnancy. I can remember every queasy feeling, every kick and every disturbed look i got from people who came into my office at work only to see how frighteningly swollen my  belly was when I came out from behind my desk (I was a breastfeeding counselor-I know...shocking,lol)I remember her delivery day, the smell of the OR, the beeping of the monitors and the piercing cry of a healthy baby girl. It was because of this decision to choose joy over any of my circumstances that we chose to name her Caia- because it means "to rejoice".

 

 

Jeremiah 15:16

"When your words came, I ate them; they were my joy and my heart's delight, for I bear your name, O LORD God Almighty."

 

Another oldie but goodie....

Monday, 15 February 2010

 

 

Poignant excerpts from a recent email that invoked further thought

About not being a career woman:We agreed before i had caia that i would resign from my job to stay home again and teach the children.Had there been a good Christian school nearby we would have sent Sierra and Brianna there, but as it were the nearest school suitable for them is 45 minutes away in the next county and that's a lot of mountains to be driving thru in the winter!Our county only has 3 public schools and working at the WIC office, I saw too many moms as young as 15, so I'm not sacrificing my kids.I don't understand why so many women feel the need to prove to themselves or a man that they are just as strong,smart or valid as any male out there by not demeaning themselves by "just being a mom".i understand those who need the second income or even the only income if they are anything  like when it was just my mom taking care of me, for specifically the moms that hate their jobs but feel the need to be corporate successes...i feel sorry for them.

On children growing up too fast :Sierra's in 1st grade and i had no idea what i was in for teaching this grade level.i had no idea this is when children learn to count by 5's and 10's,the concepts of even and odd numbers, making change, cursive writing and the like....but here i am teaching it to a 6 and half year old little girl, and as long as she does not stress, she is SO excited and quick to learn.I am really impressed by her.I understand that everything i am teaching my children they need to know at some point in their lives.But a 6 year old needing to now know the values of coins and how to make change seems just a bit show offy.If she wasn't as eager to learn things like this, I'd gladly hold off just a little while longer in lieu of my baby going to her own piggy bank and counting out exactly the right amount f change to get a Ring Pop.Gone are the days of wanting "10 hundred dollars".

That miracles do still happen : My son johnny is 2 and half and he is just a miracle in and of himself.We almost lost him twice in a year & got to the point where we were mentally preparing to eventually lose him,period.But he's going to be 3 in May and as a little boy makes me earn my title MOM everyday.He's loud and rough, but very gentle with his baby sister and goes for a few days being Daddy's helper then a few days being a momma's boy.He's very headstrong ...dun dun dun!but he makes up for this ... with being ridiculously compliant at nap time and bedtime and when i need him to go tell somebody something or bring me something from another room.What can i say, he has my heart.
 
On the benefits of learning and applying Proverbs 3:5-6 : Then there's my baby girl Caia.She is SO advanced compared to her older siblings, but i think that's cause I listened to God's voice when I heard him tell me WAIT while i was pregnant with her.I wasn't sure what for or how long, but i did just that, and when i felt a peace I said OK to my 4th c-section in almost 7 years and delivered her at 42 weeks and 3 days.most dr.'s today would NEVER EVER EVER have even entertained that thought unless i had had a natural delivery in there somewhere, but as it turned out i had inadvertently put the physician too close to God on trust and knowing what's best when i had Johnny and although they say he was 38 weeks when born his lung development may have proven him to only be 34 0r 36, which is why he ended up in the NICU.So with Caia i prayed several times a day over her and for my courage to trust God over the "professional" and found a doc jut crazy enough to listen to me and it has made all the difference.head up and smiling at 2 days,crawling at 4 months,solid foods at 5 months and now at six months as of the 13th she is standing and trying to walk( i swear it's the creepiest little thing to see!

On how God takes your mistakes and uses it to his glory and for other benefits :I think alot about high school and wish i could have done stuff differently.i wish i knew then how my life would be now and that's it's ok to have a backbone and be assertive.I wish i had had more fun,lightened up a little and stood up for myself more, but i guess i turned out ok in spite of it all,lol.I'm still very organized,type A and pay incredible attention to detail.B+ work is not ok with me,lol....but knowing how i was helps me teach the kids differently and let them know slacking off is never ok but mistakes are just as important to learning the material as getting it all right.